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A Wolverine/Deadpool fanfic - by Chocolatte87


Rating : NC15 (violence, language unsuitable for yonger readers)
Characters : Logan/Wolverine, Wade/Deadpool, The Goon, The Stranger. (Wolverine and Deadpool belong to marvel)
Add.Info : This scenario takes place after Logans adamantium is ripped out by Magneto (ouch), therefore he has his skeletal claws instead. Deadpool has not been changed.
Summary : Logan finds Wade wounded and takes him back to his place to recover (though he wishes that he hadn't) This story begins the following morning...................enjoy :


Logan groaned, and rolled over to a sitting position, on the right side of his bed. He was woken by the smell of something cooking. The sun was lightening up the far side of his bedroom, through the slot in the curtains. As Logan tilted his head, the rays hit him in the face, making him squint his eyes. He scratched his head and leant over to retrieve his jeans from the floor.

"Mornin' Roomy!" Wade yelled from the kitchen, "What ya’ want on your pancakes?"

"Thought you'd gone already," Logan growled, pulling on his Levi's. He left his belt unbuckled, and it clinked, as he made his way to the kitchen.

"Maple syrup?" wade asked, squirting the tube all over the freshly made pancakes.

Logan ignored him completely. He grabbed a beer from the fridge, and walked back into the front room.

Wade tagged along behind him.

“Aren't you full of cheer this mornin'," wade said sarcastically, between mouthfuls.

"I don't like pancakes," Logan grunted. "Or company."

"You don't say? " Wade replied, stuffing another pancake into his mouth. "I guess, some people just don't know what they're missin'." He walked back to the kitchen quietly.

Logan slumped down on the sofa. "I should've left him decoratin' the sidewalk," he thought to himself.

"Thanks for savin' my ass last night," Wade said softly. Then his tone changed. "No cheesy puffs?" he groaned in dispair.

Logan heard the cupboard doors opening, and banging shut. He grunted and got to his feet.

"When was the last time you went to the store?" he yelled, then turned to see Logan glaring at him.

Logan grunted and pulled another beer from the fridge.

"Okay, I'll go" Wade sighed. He headed for the front door and quickly snatched his mask, before slamming the door behind him.

Logan snorted and lit the stove. He pulled the frying pan over the burner and threw the bacon into the pan. It hissed and crackled. Logan stood over the pan, breathing in the aroma, trying to get rid of the sweet smelling pancakes.

"Real food," he said, turning the bacon over.

When the bacon was ready, he fished it out of the pan with his claws. He stuffed the rashers in his mouth one, by one. Then he washed them down with beer, and belched loudly. He made his way back to the sofa. He paused. Looked out of the window and then slumped down on to the well worn sofa. He picked up yesterdays newspaper and began reading.

"Honey! I'm home," Wade shouted, as he entered the door.

Logan snorted and pretended he didn’t hear him.

Wade had a big bag of groceries in his arms. He kicked the door shut with his left heel, and it thudded against the frame.

"I got cheesy puffs, Nachos, doughnuts, iced pastries," he leaned over the coffee table. "And these are for you," he grinned, placing the six pack of beer in front of Logan.

Logan peered over his newspaper. Raised his eyebrows. Then continued reading. He heard Wade unpacking the groceries in the kitchen and humming to himself. Then he shuffled over to the bathroom, and closed the door quietly.

The sound of running water was distracting enough, without Wade singing 'I Feel Good', while doing a mock striptease.

“That's it! " Logan growled, slamming the newpaper down on the table. He paused. He scratched his head and gazed thoughtfully at the six pack of beer that Wade had brought him. Then he heard a high pitched buzzing sound coming from the bathroom.  Wade was trying to tune in the radio.

“Sometimes, it hard to be a woman,“ Wade sung loudly. “Givin’ all your love, to just one man."

Logan hauled himself of the sofa, and thumped over to the bathroom door. He pushed the door open with a thud. He was greeted by Wade, shoulder deep in bubbles, with a barrel of a pistol, poking out from under the suds.

“What the hell!” Logan yelled. “Who takes a gun into the tub?”

“I lost my rubber duck,” Wade groaned, fishing the loofah out from under the bubbles. “Wanna scrub my back?”

“I know why they wanted to kill ya!" Logan growled, and slammed the door behind him. He stomped back to the table, grabbed his beer and gulped it down angrily.

“Come on!" Wade shouted, "can't you even take a joke?" He stood in the doorway, with a towel wrapped around him, still sopping wet.

“Will ya put some clothes on, Wilson. You're freaking me out,” Logan grunted.

“Ow! That hurt.” Wade pretended to be shot in the chest and slumped against the door frame. “You ain’t so perfect yourself ya know. I pulled enough hair out of the plughole to stuff Rogue’s Bra.”

“I’m in no mood for your jokes, asshole,” Logan snarled, gulping down the last of his beer.

“Ever thought of waxing?” Wade added, before retreating behind the bathroom door.

Logan launched the empty beer can in Wades direction. It bounced of the door and rattled on the hard wooden floor.

Just then the doorbell rang.

“What the hell," Logan growled.

“That’ll be the pizza!” Wade yelled excitedly from the bathroom.
 

Part-two :

“Wakey Wakey ! Ladies.” A voice echoed from the far side of the room. As Logan came to and raised his head, a sharp pain travelled up his spine. He grunted and tried to focus his eyes, his head was buzzing and his senses were numb.

“What the fuck” Logan groaned, trying to raise his hand up to scratch his head. He then realised that he was handcuffed to a chair. Every muscle in his body ached, he must have had the shit kicked out of him.

“The boss wants to see ya!” the goon said grinning menacingly, “So ya better be polite, or I’ll have to beat ya again.”

“Polite? I wish he had been more polite to my nuts” Logan thought, shaking his head. The room was still blurry and he could smell stale urine, sweat, old rusty piping and blood. Blood, he could almost taste it. Logan’s pulse began to race with excitement, he started breathing harder.

“What’s goin’ on?” Wade groaned from behind, “One minute I’m having a threesome with two eastern beauties and Damn it! I was dreaming again.”

He rattled his handcuffs in an attempt to free himself. “This place smells like a sumo wrestlers nappy! I think I’m gonna throw”

Logan clenched his fists and mustered all his strength, pulling his arms apart as hard as he could. He ignored the pain and kept going until “snap.” He broke both of his wrists. Exhaling the pain he kept going but, no use. The handcuffs were not budging. Then he tried forcing the cuffs on his ankles.

"Arrgh!" he growled with frustration. "Your dead meat bub" he snorted, breathing deeply through his flared nostrils. The goon didn't say a word or even look in Logan's direction, he just stood like a statue against the heavily cemented wall.

“Last thing I remember, I was watching that old Dracula movie!” Wade said, still rattling his handcuffs, “tucking into my favourite double cheese and pepperoni pizza!”

Then he paused.

“Wait a minute!” he yelled “Maybe the pizza dude packed a little something extra, huh, like a gas grenade or something.” “They say pizza is bad for your health, Geez! They were right.”

“Give it a rest Wilson,” Logan grunted. He threw his head back, hitting Wades skull with a clunk.

“Ow!” Wade yelled, “What was that for?” He shuffled his feet, straining against the cuffs around his ankles, “Just wait till I get outta this chair!”

Just then, Logan felt a presence enter the room. His footsteps were so soft and his movements so stealth like, that any normal person would not be aware of him. Until it was too late.

Logan sat silent and waited for the stranger to speak. There was a long silence.

“Mr Wilson,” the stranger said calmly, “I knew we would meet again”

“And you are?” Wade asked, trying to turn around.

“Does it matter?” he replied, signalling his henchmen to leave.

“Listen bub,” Logan growled, “I don’t give a shit, what’s gone on with the two of you.” Logan still couldn’t see the strangers face, he was lurking in the shadows at the far corner of the room. “When I get outta these cuff’s, your gonna be a whole lot sorry.”

“Yeah” wade replied, “your gonna be cryin’ for your mommy.”

“Is that right?” The stranger sneered, “I’m not the one that you should worry about!”

Logan’s wrists were healed, so he tried to force the handcuffs again. “Snap!” Logan grunted with pain and snorted, “bub, I’m gonna gut ya like a fish.”

“Your welcome to try it if you can free yourself,” the stranger hissed. “Which will be very unlikely. You see these chairs and handcuffs are made of adamantium.” The stranger was relishing the situation immensely, “ just a precaution, we don’t want you messing things up now, do we?”

“What things are we talking about?” wade perked up, “Like using my carcass for target practice, disecting me for some sort of new age experiments or just plain kicking the crap out of me for information?” Wade sighed “Sorry dude! Been there... did that... but, I must admit the experiment part did kinda turn me on.”

Logan rolled his eye’s and snorted loudly weighing up the situation. His senses were getting more acute by the minute and whatever it was that incapacitated him, was loosing it’s grip.

“You are very amusing Mr Wilson,” the stranger grinned, “but, even your sense of humour will not give you any comfort here!” The stranger left just as quickly as he had arrived, without a sound, he vanished.

"You're right about that!" Wade groaned "My butt is killing me in this freakin' seat." He shuffled about, "I hope it's not permanently damaged, I've been asked to model the new range of combat suits and accessories this summer and I don't want to dissapoint the ladies.”

Part-three :

“Who was that joker?” Logan grunted, “What the hell does he want with you?”

“I’ve never met the asshole before!” Wade replied, clearing his throat.

“Don’t give me that shit!” Logan growled, “Spill it.”

“Okay! Keep you pants on,” Wade groaned “I don’t know the guy but, I have heard about him.”

Logan snorted loudly.

“I was hired by this guy, who knew a guy, ya know!” he said ironically. “I was to bag a stolen disc from this Scientific Research Lab on the baboons butt of nowhere” He paused. Then adjusted his seating position. “They offered me 50 Gs when I finish of the job but, I had a hell of a time getting in and lost one of my favourite pistols, so I reckoned they should pay me at least 60 for the inconvenience.”

“Ya mean ya got greedy,” Logan growled, leaning over to investigate the bolts attached to his chair.

“Anyway I told my contact to tell gorilla man that the stakes were raised and that’s when they used my ass as target practice………..It still hurts when I take a leak,” he groaned, “You know the rest…”

“So where’s this disc,” Logan asked, listening for any goons hanging around outside.

“Safe for now!” Wade replied sharply.

“You’re some piece of work Wilson” Logan growled, “I shoulda left ya decoratin’ the sidewalk!”

Logan took a deep breath in and tried to force the handcuffs again. Snap! His wrists cracked again. He snorted and growled in pain. Then his skeletal claws ripped through his knuckles and pierced Wades rear end.

“AWWW!” Wade squealed with pain, “Will ya watch where ya put those things, I feel like a freakin’ kebab!” he yelled angrily, wincing with pain.

“Stop ya’r belly achin’,” Logan snorted, “You’ll heal won’t ya!” Logan retracted his claws and Wade groaned with relief. Then crack. Logan’s right thumb dislocated and using what strength he had left, he pulled his hand out of the cuff. Still grunting heavily with pain he pulled his left hand out and placed both hands on his thigh’s triumphantly.

“Anyways ya had that comin’ ” Logan snorted, exhaling loudly and examining the damage to his hands. One by One his bones clicked back into place and he was ready to start on his legs.

“Got anything for pickin’ locks” Logan asked, rattling the cuff around his right ankle.

“Yeah! Like I always carry spare lock picks one me,” wade replied sarcastically, “it ain’t batman ya’r talking to.”

Logan looked around him, the floor was covered in dirt, cigarette ends and blood stains from previous tenants. The walls were cement, old and cracked with age. The only furniture in the room were the two metal chairs that were bolted back to back in the centre of the room, currently occupied by Wade and himself.

“Oh! I always wanted to try on the Batsuit, almost as much as that little slinky number Storm wears….you know the one, don’t you?” Wade teased. “Those cute little pointy Bat ears, every costume should have them.

“Will ya put a sock in it already!” Logan growled, “how can I think with you yappin’ in my ear?”

Just then the goon returned.

Logan threw his hands behind the back of the chair simulating handcuffs and waited for the right moment.

“Did ya miss me?” the goon asked grinning viciously and walked towards Logan. He kicked him hard in the right shin and them punched him square in the jaw. Logan’s head flew back sharply from the impact and cracked of Wades skull.

“Hey!” Wade shouted, “Right! That’s enough, I’m sick of this shit…….. come here asshole and I’ll make a new belt using your intestines.”

The goon circled around to face Wade, “What was that sweetheart!” he replied, punching Wade hard in the gut. “Sorry what was that ….. I can’t hear you!”

Wade grunted and coughed hoarsely, “Call that a punch, my old grandma could hit harder than that?”

“I‘m gonna have to teach ya some manners too!” The goon growled, punching him another two times in the stomach.

Wade coughed violently and blood spurted out of his mouth, slithered down his chin and tiny droplets splashed on the floor next to the goons shoe.

Fresh blood. Logan could taste it. He was breathing harder, the blood was coursing through his veins. It was time for action. He clenched his fists and his skeletal claws sliced through his knuckles. He raised up from his chair, spun around and jammed his right fist into the goons side.

“What the F…….” The goon gasped in disbelief, grabbing Logan’s hand in an attempt to pull it away.

Logan pulled him back towards his chair and stuck him with a left hook up the jaw. The claws tore through the soft tissue under the goon’s chin, ripped through his mouth and pierced his brain. The lifeless body fell to the floor with a loud thud at Logan’s feet. Blood was oozing from his ears, nose and mouth, formin a puddle around his head.

“What was that powder puff?” Wade yelled at the recently deceased goon, “Can’t hear ya? Oh, yar dead!”

Logan began fishing around in the goon’s trouser pockets for something to open the cuffs around his ankles.

“Great! Now what?” Wade pouted, “Just as I was havin’ fun, you go and kill em and I never got my belt either party pooper!”

Logan heard more goons shuffling down the stairs at the rear of the building.

“No more dickin’ around,” he thought to himself, pulling a set of key’s from the dead man’s right pocket. “You must be the dumbest asshole I’ve ever met,” Logan snorted, unlocking the cuff around his left ankle. The other goons were moving closer by the minute.

“Oh, goody!” Wade yelled excitedly, “Here comes the cavalry! Common, Hurry up! I wanna play too”

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